...Or at least I should have been because I like to bake my babies for as long as possible.
And I don’t mind, either.
I just love being pregnant and don’t feel a bit miserable being 41 weeks pregnant.
Even in the August heat. Once they are born, you have to actually take care of the baby… feed him, change him, and wake up in the middle of the night.
Not so much when you are pregnant (or at least, I don’t have to wake up in the night to go bathroom like so many other women complain about!)
And I say him because I am convinced that our little one was a “him”.
We do not find out the genders of our babies before they are born, but so far, I’ve been two for two in correctly predicting the gender.
When I was pregnant with our angel baby, I had a couple people ask me my prediction and I didn’t know then.
(I usually don’t know until about 7 or so months along.)
But, I joked that it was probably because it was one of each!
Little did I know that we would never know with 100% certainty.
But, one day Isaac and I were talking about names and out of nowhere he suggested a name that I had been thinking about and was a top contender on my long list of boy baby names.
Corban, a gift devoted to God.
Taken from Mark 7:11.
While Corban probably could be a gender neutral name, you’ll never convince me that he wasn’t a boy or a wonderful gift from God, taken back to Him way too soon.
Anyways, last Wednesday was the day that I was due with our baby that went to heaven way too soon. I had a pretty tough start to the week. Monday, I got a telephone call with a health survey. They asked me a ton of health questions and at the end asked if I was pregnant and some more questions along those lines. So, by the end of the conversation I was nearly crying and trying to get him off the phone as soon as possible. And then Tuesday, I was going through the tubs from the basement of clothes that the kids have outgrown and looking for summer clothes. I came across the very adorable owl onesie that my sister and brother in law bought for our baby and gave to us when I was 8.5 weeks pregnant, two weeks before my miscarriage. This one was doubly hard. When I told my sister about the pregnancy, it was by asking what their plans were for this coming Easter and telling her there would be someone new for them to meet. Renee and Nathan had decided the Easter before that they wanted to come up to our house for this year because Easter was more fun with little kids around. For those who don’t know, my brother in law, Nathan passed away at the way-too-young age of 25 this January, so next week we will be missing two people. He adored our kids so much and I’d like to believe that he is able to take care of little Corban up in heaven. By the way, I think Renee is holding up amazingly well for all she has been through the past year and a half with Nathan’s leukemia diagnosis, treatment, and passing and you should all follow her blog. (http://minusambition.blogspot.com) She writes much better and much more often than I. Anyways, on Wednesday Isaac, who is not typically a very sentimental kind of guy, had half a dozen red roses sent to the house. It was a very wonderful surprise which caused me to shed a few tears. That night when Kadin was getting ready to go to bed, she gave me a hug and said, “I’m sorry about your baby.” She has such a caring heart!
I didn't realize that my upcoming due date was going to cause so much heartache, maybe even more than I had at the time of the miscarriage. But, I'm doing well now. I'm so thankful for the two wonderful kids I do have. And maybe next time, I won't wait 5 months to make a new post!
